A WALKING PACK OF CHAOS
I believed people misunderstood her completely. Yes! Too misunderstood. Or, so I thought
Why does she act this way? She is way too intelligent and innocent to be this way. I feel like she is possessed or something because, How do you explain someone that beautiful acting in such a manner. She had no reason to act that way. I had been tempted to believe all the horrific things she's been doing but, her demeanor changes my beliefs each time. The more I was told to avoid the burning furnace, the more I was intrigued by it.
In fact, I sought to get closer to her. I felt her situation wasn't that bad, and maybe I could do something about it. Maybe change her. I know what you are probably thinking, second Jesus Christ right? The world's sacrificial lamb. I had these philosophies of life which included that humans are not totally bad and can change for good, hence, no one should be written off totally.
I felt drawn. Everything about her was intriguing. Her name, Lord Christmas. Such a weird combination! The way she knew so much about topics raised. A smart lady. She sure did a lot of research, I admired that. You know the women supporting women thing.
But, there was indeed a thick dark cloud surrounding her.
She walked with a pack, as their leader. She did not like to share her friends and she did not hide it. They did things together, walked together. I observed as time went by that she spoke to them rudely sometimes and would send them on errands. The way they hurried to do her bidding amused me a lot. I was surprised a student could command such authority. Because I admired her, it seemed normal to me. I thought to myself, "She's just trying to be a leader, making sure they are always on their toes." I felt the girls she kept as friends were so lucky to be in that circle.
Boom! We started to get close. It was true I was not a dull student myself but, I had resumed late, needed help with notes, everything to make me a stable student and Christmas was willing to help. I really wanted her to because she had the most updated note in class and I knew I did not want to do so much research to get a note, so, Christmas became the best option. My friends did not stop me. I mean, they understood the urgency but, they warned me to be careful. They did say, "Dorathy, you really need to be careful. That girl is of no good. She is extreme with things and can be very violent. And, no matter what happens, never go to her house especially, not alone. The last warning got me thinking. I tried to ask more about it but, my friends would not go further to tell me. Indeed, he who has ears, must endeavour to hear.
How was I to know?
I mean, she always checked in on me, made sure I was okay. Made sure I followed and submitted assignments in good time. To me, that was the kind of person I needed to scale through that phase. The biggest achievement was the comprehensive documents of our courses. She also helped me with her study guide and I began to pick up really fast. I felt very grateful to her for all her help and friendship.
I didn't think I was prepared for what was coming. More like she wanted me to be comfortable before opening her pack of trouble. The fact that she had an innocent face too contributed. I believed people misunderstood her completely. I felt she was misunderstood too.
Not until I had a bite of the national cake
I have been noticing a repeated pattern of her telling me not to be friends with the few I walked with. She was just trying to be protective or better still, was not so comfortable, I made excuses for her. Moreover, I was thinking it was normal until I got a call from her on the 12th of April, 2026.
She was crying on the phone. Yes! The almighty Lord Christmas. Looks like she needed urgent attention. Although, I tried to find out what had happened whilst on the call but, somehow, she sounded like someone in a lot of emotional crisis.
As a concerned friend, I found myself going to her house. She had sent her home address immediately after the call dropped earlier. I was worried. I was in a lot of panic. I hastened my steps too. Unconsciously, I found myself not greeting anyone or replying too. I was just in my world.
"O what if something had happened?"
"God please, let it be that she's fine"
"Was she being attacked, raped maybe?" A lot of bad things happen these days. Before you know it, I was at her door steps. I didn't even care to knock, I just barged in to meet the greatest shock of my life....
Lord Christmas with a knife!
She looked like another human from another planet. I am not exaggerating. Maybe, she got teleported or something because, the human being I saw at that moment, I haven't seen before. Something had surely possessed her. Her eyes, red like a furnace. Her face twice the normal, hardened with a total mess of both tears and mucus as motifs. She then authoritatively asked me to shut the door else she would kill herself.
I was scared to the bones. I wasn't informed. I thought these only happened in the movies, horror themed movies I rarely saw.
I delayed. I was confused. My brain was still trying to process everything. My spirit too, started to behave like an unstable network—appearing and disappearing. I began saying my final words to God in the case I happen not to come out of this. Immediately, I saw a fresh trail of blood running down her arm to stain the neat white tiled floor. That was exactly when I understood she was not joking. It took a lot of gut to close the door. I still did not use the bolt.
Then, I turned to look at her, I blurted out with an authority and voice I didn't know that I possessed, "CALM DOWN!"
It was as though, speaking those words were the antidote because, she immediately looked at me intently and began to soften. I decided to use that as a leverage and asked her the second time to calm down, sit and allow us to talk about the issue. I managed to get her to drop the weapon then, I took it away. You know the saying, "better to be safe than sorry" Then, she began to confess....
Apparently, her parents brought her back to Nigeria from the United Kingdom where she was born due to the irregularities of her health (mental health). In between her tears, "All my life, I have never been loved right. My parents left me in the hands of caregivers who introduced me to things a child should never have to experience. They still do not care even after finding out I had been damaged. They keep shipping me from place to place. They chose their career over me. All I've asked for my entire life is to be loved right and back as well. It is not too much to ask, is it? I found a true friend, a true lover in you. You never judged me. I have seen, heard you stand up for me many times in such a way no one has ever done."
Each time she got into trouble especially ones that needed her to serve jail terms, she was shipped. I discovered that the scars that graced her body were self inflicted too. And, you guessed right too, because, everything she was accused of doing, she really did. She has done worse to individuals who crossed her path in a manner that she didn't agree to. Now to the main issue I heard her say, "Why can't you love me? I have done everything to get you to love me, see me, talk to only me. You keep refusing, this is the reason I wanted to end it all so, my death can be on you"
My eardrums jingled! The cause of this whole madness is this? I really found it hard to understand where that came from.. I tried connecting the dot, but I wasn't getting the puzzle.
Didn't I hear correctly? I mean, it did not just sound right to me.
Me! Dorathy Eke? I mean, I saw my parents struggle to make sure I got this degree. How do I explain myself? How do I explain all these to a sane human.
Then, I asked her, "Are you bi-sexual? Like... do you like women too?”
I really wanted to understand the extremism. And, because I knew she dated guys, I wanted to be sure I was not overthinking again. Well, she confirmed my fears.
How do you get to love a woman to this point? Why did it have to be me? See where admiration and not listening has brought me. It was at that point I knew that there was nothing I could do to salvage the situation. I mean, the saviour just got saved by the eternal saviour as usual.
The anger I hadn't realized was clouding inside of me exploded and I began to berate her, I went all off. "I can now see the real you... I heard, I decided it was an unfair judgement. You are indeed a walking pack of trouble. What did I ever do to you? I looked up to you, admired your strength in academics, believed you more than anyone else and everything being said. Unfortunately, I will have to agree that this is the real you. I want you to stay away from me".
I went ahead to add that I genuinely cared as a friend and was worried something bad had happened only to experience her chaos. I laughed sarcastically, that was another way to contain my anger.
She began to plead with me. She promised that she had changed. And, she didn't mean to do all she did. At the end of the day, my legs cooperated as I went for the door. I turned the doorknob, opened it widely and left. Not without telling her to do whatever she wanted with her life. It can never be in my conscience. I took a last glance at her and told her, "Your traumatic childhood was not your fault at all. You are but, a survivor. However, do not allow it to affect your future. You can still find the help you need. It is not too late. Thankfully, you are aware there's an issue. You're also aware of its origin. I believe you are smart enough to fix it. Seek help Christmas." I walked out and that was surely the end of that friendship.
On my way home, I cried. As I cried, I thanked God. Friends told me, I saw things, signs were there but, I chose to be stupid about it and I saw wonders. I refused to regret anything. Yes! Only lessons learnt. My heart still goes out to her because, I really feel she needs therapy, I know she needs help.
Some people do not enter your life alone. They arrive carrying chaos in packs. Be alert!