Growing up in a Christian home, it is generally accepted that the love of God is unconditional, since He loves us all without reason and even sent His only begotten Son to come to earth and die for our sins.
One is therefore tempted to question how truly unconditional this love of God is. I mean, with several dos and don’ts, it appears that the propagators of this idea either have a shaky understanding of the word “unconditional,” or perhaps I take the word too seriously.
But the bigger question is not even about God and His love. I think the real question is: can love truly be unconditional?
In its most literal sense, unconditional means that something is not limited by, or dependent upon, any specific requirements, scenarios, or strings attached. This speaks to the ability of something to exist independent of any form of external influence from the object.
On the other hand, love is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as an intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest in and pleasure in something.
From the definition above, one can argue that love cannot exist in a vacuum. Love must have a trigger—a foundation upon which the interest or affection is built and sustained.
Regardless of how minute or subtle the trigger of love is, it exists, and it is the singular catalyst that determines whether the love journey will thrive or come to an abrupt end.
It reflects a lack of awareness when people say things like, “I just love him/her for no particular reason.” There are over a billion people on earth—why are you not loving every other person just as much? Why is it this particular individual? The truth is that something triggered that interest. You may not be aware of it, but your lack of awareness is not proof of its non-existence.
One person might love another for their physical attractiveness, while another might love them for their intellectual prowess. One is visible, the other is not, but both are valid triggers. These qualities also make the subject of love susceptible to other individuals with similar traits, ceteris paribus.
One can undeniably admit that God loves us. However, what we often try to blur are the conditions attached to that love.
Every day, as we talk about how to be a good child of God, we end up creating lists of expectations—things that sustain His love and things that can provoke His wrath.
The existence of hell serves as a strong indication that God’s love is not unconditional. It suggests that there are boundaries, and that breaching them comes with consequences—whether implicit or explicit.
Jesus, speaking in John 15:10, clearly states that if we keep His commandments, we will remain in His love, just as He has kept His Father’s commandments and remains in His love. This indicates that remaining in this love is conditional upon obedience.
Jude 1:21 also instructs us to keep ourselves in the love of God, which implies that we can step outside of it. The only way to do so is by living outside the terms that govern that relationship—namely, keeping His commandments.
In reality, God is not so different from mankind, considering we were created in His image. Just as we can love someone deeply until they cross certain lines and push us away, God can also love us deeply, yet be affected when we cross certain boundaries.
We can argue about the extent of God’s patience and persistence, but not about the absence of conditions in His love—unless we are willing to admit that there are conditions for such unconditionality.