Ade Bus Admin: Baba, my project topic has been approved, pls start chapter one already o.
Favour 100L Pol Sci: Sir, I’ve collected the corrected copy of my chapter one from my supervisor, when will you be around?
Yemi Sci Edu: My oga, my supervisor dey para for me o, say no be me dey write this work because I no fit explain wetin dey inside.
Emma Early Childhood: Boss, I just sent deposit for the project work now, pls confirm payment and start chapter one.
08181xxxxxxx: Good afternoon sir, I’m Ada, I got your contact from Bisi, Sociology Dept., she said you are writing her final year project; pls I want you to write mine too sir, what will it cost?
Ebuka Mass Comm: Pls hope my seminar is ready, we’re submitting tomorrow morning so I’m coming to pick it today after lectures.
Amina G&C: Pls do that my assignment in ten different versions, 10 of my friends want it too, pls don’t copy mine for anybody o, the lecturer said he will check to know copycats.
This is just a peep into my daily WhatsApp messages.
I’m popular in the student community as a professional project writer within the campus. Popularly known for writing assignments, seminars, IT reports, final year projects, and every other write-up that students might need to fulfill their academic requirements to be awarded their certifications from tertiary institutions.
Some of my clients started patronizing me from their 100 level in the university till their graduation. This means that all the assignments they ever did, all the seminars, reports, and project work were handled by yours faithfully; theirs was just to keep the funds rolling in and their work was sure. When they complete their time as students in the institution, they collect their certificate after doing the very least. They only have to write exams, which are often flawed by malpractices and sorting at different levels.
I am not alone in this business of assistant studentship (as we fondly call it in our circle). I have numerous colleagues; some of us major in science departments while others major in practicals and experiments. We have our cabal, where we set our prices and do our jobs perfectly well. We exchange topics and resources and even outsource jobs outside our area of specialty, with very few of us having a strong handle on almost all the courses. I only gained fame because of the quality of work I always deliver and my intentionality about carrying out each research instead of copying already existing work and paraphrasing.
One thing that my clients and colleagues have in common is ignorance of the fact that I have never been through the four walls of the university, never studied any course, and never attended a university lecture. My motivation for assisting students to write their academic work was solely for self-improvement and academic up-to-dateness. At first, it wasn’t easy, but I got better with each assignment, seminar, IT report, and project until it became like a walk in the park.
I enjoy doing what I do not just for the financial implications but for its intellectual impact and how it forces me to exert my brain, get better, and come across discussions that I would normally not be concerned with. But sometimes, in the quietness of my night, I reminisce about the impact of my enterprise on the quality of graduates being churned out every year by our academic institutions. I worry about the competence of the next generation of professionals.
These are the people who are positioning themselves to take over the baton of leadership in different spheres of our society; they’ll be the captains of industries, ministers, commissioners, governors, and even presidents of tomorrow. Their foundation is already marred by such irregularities. Academic pursuit for them has absolutely nothing to do with self-improvement but collecting certificates through every crooked means possible.
The recent statement by the CEO of Moniepoint, Mr. Tosin Eniolorunda, about the existence of over 500 vacant positions within the firm because they’ve not been able to find qualified Nigerians to fill the positions in a country known to have a high unemployment rate underscores the very painful reality that the enterprise of me and my colleagues is beginning to have a palpable effect in real life. We now have graduates who are unemployable, having nothing but their undeserving certificates to show for their years in the university.
Sometimes I want to know whose fault it really is: the lecturers, the students, the system, or myself, who is readily available to exploit the situation. But I don’t think I can be blamed much since, like every other businessman out there, I saw a need which aligns with me, and I decided to solve it and get rewarded for it. Fortunately, it even comes with the perks of intellectual improvement. If I didn’t do it, my colleagues would anyway.
Recently, Master’s students have started approaching me for my craft. Maybe I’ll give one a shot and see if I can do it; either I succeed or I get better. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I am Mr. Ben, your assistant student who has written numerous great academic works, approved by great scholars and academicians, however under different names.
I know that I am good at what I do, but what I don’t know is if what I do is good.