I used to believe that passion was the key to everything. Naturally, this is what I was told. I learned that if you loved something enough, it would naturally lead you to success. It was a comforting idea, almost universal in the way it was preached. "Follow your passion", they said. But growing up and observing life in Nigeria, I began to see a different reality. The statement changed. "Yes it's nice that you like sewing but think about how much money you will be making". That same passion that was being hammered into my head is laughed at now and looked down on. Nothing but a child's dreams. Passion, while beautiful, is not always the driving force behind people’s choices, especially in a country like Nigeria. More often than not, survival is. "Passion may feed the soul, but prioritizing survival feeds the body."
I remember the first time I said it out loud."I don’t think I want to do this."
It felt strange, like I had spoken against something sacred, a taboo. The room didn’t go quiet, but something shifted. My words hung there, heavy, almost disrespectful to everything I've been told. A secret that must never be said out loud. Because where I come from, there are certain things you don’t question.You go to school, you get a "good" course, You find a stable job and most importantly you prioritize making money.And somewhere in between all that, you bury the things you love and enjoy doing. I didn’t always think like this. There was a time when everything felt possible. I had things I loved. Ideas, dreams, interests that made me feel alive. It wasn’t about money then. It was about meaning. But slowly, reality began to speak louder and clearer reminding me of the ordeal I must face. Not in one big moment.but in small, consistent reminders. What used to be " Just have fun", becomes "Be practical", "That one doesn’t pay","You need something stable", " That won't put food on the table".At first, it sounded like advice, and then it started to feel like direction. One forced unto us and eventually, it became expectation.
I began to notice something along the way. Not just in my life, but in the people around me. People who once had passion now had "plans". People who once dreamed now calculated everything. I've seen someone who loved art studying accounting. I've seen some who studied art become a janitor. Another who loved music preparing for law school.
No one said they stopped caring. But you could tell. Something had been set aside. One prioritized and another left in the dust. Those people were in places they didn't want to be because they have been told those dreams are meaningless. And majority of these people end up failing in life because where they would have prospered is not even considered a priority in their life. And those that do prosper could be unhappy the rest of their lives without ever knowing why.
And then I look at myself. Sitting at my desk, books open, notes in front of me, doing what I'm supposed to do. Preparing for a future that made sense on paper. Saving lives I barely know. Whether I'm happy doing it doesn't matter, it's the paycheck at the end of it all. The places I'll get to go to, the rewards.
But something inside me feels disconnected.
Like I'm building a life I didn’t fully choose.
That was the moment it hit me. In Nigeria, passion is not always the driver, Survival is. Being this lost is not my fault.
It’s not that we don’t have passion. We do. Everyone does. It’s everywhere. In the music, the creativity, the way people think, the way people imagine. But in a country like mine, passion doesn’t always pay. And when survival is uncertain, passion becomes something you postpone."Later", we say.
After stability, after success, after life becomes safe, we'll try again.But what if "later"never comes?, That question has stayed with me. Because I started to see the other side too. The quiet cost of choosing only survival. People who were successful, were not fulfilled. People who have everything they were told to want but still feel something missing. It made me wonder, Is survival enough?, will that really satisfy us? Now, I find myself somewhere in between not fully choosing passion never fully surrendering to practicality but really just trying to understand where I really stand and
trying to decide what kind of life I want to live. Because I've realized something important now. It's easy to say "follow your passion",It's also easy to say "be realistic" but really living and alternating between those two, That's the hard part. So now, I ask myself a different question entirely,What if it's not about choosing one?, What if it's about finding a way for both to exist?A life where I survive but also feel alive. If you're waiting for an answer, that, I don't have it yet.But I know this much; I don't want to wake up one day and realize I lived a life that made sense to everyone… except me.And maybe that's where it starts. Not with a decision, but with a question I'm still asking myself. Can I build a life that sustains me without losing what makes me feel alive?.