SURVIVING COLLEGE IS A WIN
As I approach the end of my three year journey at a state university, I am compelled to reflect on how life has been and what I have experienced up until this moment. This chapter of my life has not only been about my academic experience but also the choices made along the way, hardships faced, and the friendships and relationships encountered. "Was there any growth?"I cannot possibly be the same person I was when I first started college. Do I need to improve on anything? and more importantly what does the future hold for me.
I entered university with no particular interest in mind. I entered like most people do, pushed into it by our parents or influenced by our friends. I had just graduated from high school with promising grades. Mother thought nursing would be a great fit for me on the basis that I was smart, quick on my feet and the overall best reason there was, " There is money in nursing". So yes, there was no gap year to breathe and understand what was really going on or what I was going to face. Staying at home after graduating high school was a taboo. You were considered a failure. Typical " Nigerian mentality" And sitting at home while your friends were in school has this effect on you so that was an option. I had a mixture of emotions I couldn't understand or process. I was excited and also scared because there I was, entering an environment I was not prepared for. I was expected to adapt and keep up with people older and bigger than I was. "Do not fall out, stay in place ", hammered into my feeble mind every morning
And trust that I did adapt. But did I adapt well?. I made friends, joined clubs, passed with good grades. But how has college life really been?"Did I have fun? Was it meant to be fun?". College is just like adulthood for me really. No one actually taught me or prepared me for it. What I had been told about college turned out to be very different from the reality i experienced.
There I was, escorted to a room occupied by other people. An introvert with no prior knowledge on how to interact, relate or accommodate others. It was a disaster. I just could not figure it out and lucky enough I met people who didn't care that I was bashful and terrible at talking to people.
I cannot account for most experiences or the fact that not all those friendships lasted towards the end of my journey. Then again, that's normal is it not? . I am expected to grow, adapt and even change my circle if they don't fit into my standards. How do I know if I wasn't kicked out even or if I was the abandoned one. Do I regret those friendships? Who do I blame for the failure of those relationships? . I am human so I want to blame someone. Someone has to take responsibility. I can blame my mom or even society because no one taught me how to make friends up until the point of keeping those friends. No one taught me how to juggle that, fit in with other people and still pass with good grades
After all this time, I can say that even though I wasn't taught how to handle college life, I've learnt something. You don't have to fit into every circle, just one is enough. You don't have to pass with the highest grades, doing your best to pass a course is good enough. You are not a failure and you can always bounce back. You don't have to be friends with everyone or try so hard to make people like you or tolerate you. One friend is enough
That friend is more important than any other bond you try to create. That friend will sustain and support you. That friend would argue and reconcile with you on many occasions. That friend will cry and laugh with you. They will pat your back at the end of the day. They will be someone that when you look into their eyes, they can mirror back the very best versions of you. One good friendship was enough for me. Trust me when I say I've survived with just that.
From time to time I do wonder if my experience is the same for others. Was one friendship enough for them to survive school?. If it wasn't how then did they survive? . Maybe everyone survived college differently. For me, surviving meant learning that one genuine friendship and the courage to pull through were enough