These are actual messages I got from “potential romantic interests”:

Exhibit A: "I am actually for real. If you give me the space to come in, I am going to make sure your life becomes a beautiful rollercoaster. I am particularly interested in making your heart race, making your blood rush, and making you cry, smile, laugh, feel moody, and ultimately win. All of these are indicators of you seeing a live wire and still choosing to go for it. It is definitely a bit of the devil's work, but these intense moments are the very things that make up life. I just want to be your godly devil."

Exhibit B: "Guys fall in love and approach. They tend to fall deeper when they are faced with these kinds of push backs.

They wonder around the mystery of the push back and ask why, and make a decision to go bang for bang.

They won't leave you until you allow them into your life."

Exhibit C: "You are a fine woman of taste, nice hair style choices, fashion choices and dispositions that attracts me. While I like all these in a woman, I still need to be sure it's good to fall in love.”

For more context read below:

Romance in the modern day has become interestingly difficult because people no longer introduce themselves, they pitch themselves or construct unhinged realities about themselves with you as a tag-along.

There was a time when courtship involved simple things, I wouldn't know for sure but I believe there was a time with just a greeting. A compliment. A mutual interest or hobby. A mutual friend or shared networks. Maybe a conversation about the weather if both parties were particularly shy (God forbid this by the way).

Now, people arrive with mission statements, threats and packaged emotional rollercoasters presented as feelings of love. Laughable.

Instead of "Hi, my name is David," you get:

"I am actually for real. If you give me the space to come in, I am going to make sure your life becomes a beautiful rollercoaster."

Hello? Who said my life wasn't a tough ride already!

At this point, I am no longer speaking to a potential romantic interest. I am speaking to the assistant manager of an amusement park.

We have all convinced ourselves that emotional turbulence is a personality trait. Nobody wants to promise peace anymore, we are all about heightened senses, tension and drama. Stability has bad PR, consistency is dead unless it's how much emotional turmoil you experience. Now it's all about that “beautiful chaos”. Rest please.

You can see it in the lingo.

"I am particularly interested in making your heart race, making your blood rush, making you cry, smile, laugh, feel moody..."

Sir, these are symptoms!

If I experienced all of these simultaneously, I would not be looking for a relationship. I would be scheduling a medical appointment or already experiencing a psychotic break.

Yet these declarations are often presented as irresistible offers. The promise is simple: allow me into your life and I will destabilize your emotions . Somehow, this is supposed to sound romantic, no thanks.

Honestly, my favorite line in the never ending romantic advertisements has to be:

"I just want to be your godly devil."

My very own Lucifer Cuti’m.

What exactly is a godly devil?

It sounds like someone desperately trying to occupy both sides of a moral argument. Or like my friend said, first contact response from Chatgpt.

"I am your problem, but in a spiritually accepted way."

How appealing!

It is the romantic equivalent of describing yourself as a professional fool. The phrase makes absolutely no sense, which is why they think it sounds profound.

Then there is the second category of romantic philosophy: the belief that resistance fuels attraction.

According to one particularly confident theorist:

"Guys fall in love and approach. They tend to fall deeper when they are faced with these kinds of pushbacks."

This is interesting because it presents men as a species whose natural habitat is rejection.

The theory suggests that when a man encounters resistance, he does not retreat. Instead, he becomes consumed by curiosity.

He wonders about the mystery.

He studies the signs.

He reflects.

He persists.

At this point, romance begins to sound less like human connection and more like a wildlife documentary chase between a lion and a deer.

The male, having encountered rejection, refuses to leave the area. Fascinated by the mystery of the female's disinterest, he begins a series of elaborate courtship displays. Scientists remain uncertain whether this behavior is driven by affection, determination, or an inability to take a hint. I personally believe it's the latter.

Of course, popular culture has encouraged this thinking for years. We have been taught that the best love stories are the difficult ones. The ones filled with obstacles, misunderstandings, emotional highs, emotional lows, and dramatic declarations delivered in the rain.

Nobody writes movies about two emotionally healthy people communicating effectively.

Where is the suspense in that?

Where is the character development?

Where is the suffering?

The truth is that many people have become addicted to presenting themselves not as partners, but as experiences. They do not want to be known for their kindness, reliability, or emotional maturity. They want to be remembered.

They want to be the person who changed your life.

The person who made your heart race.

The person who made you question everything.

The person you tell stories about years later.

Everybody wants to be the plot twist.

Nobody wants to be Tuesday afternoon, Monday morning or a Sunday night.

Yet this is where most relationships actually live. Not in silly weak and unoriginal poetic contradictions. Not in being a "godly devil" or a "live wire." Relationships survive on ordinary things: consistency, communication, mutual effort, and the occasional argument about where to eat.

That may not sound nearly as exciting as a beautiful rollercoaster, but at least it comes with significantly fewer safety concerns.

And unlike most rollercoasters, it does not require you to scream, cry, sweat and worry the entire time.