Patriarchy held sway for centuries. The oppression of women was part of social norms that were even upheld by women against other women. Men dominated political power, economic power, military power and social power. Men structured society in ways that perpetuated them in power and ensured their control over women. They made themselves the decision-makers for society, leaving women with little or no right to self-determination. Then came feminism, a long-awaited, long overdue movement for women to be treated as human beings with dignity and to be recognized as independent persons. A movement to undo the centuries-long social unfairness and economic and political injustice against women. And it did achieve that. Women gained the right to vote, the right to own a car and drive, the right to be educated, the right to be employed, and more protection under the law. Feminism ensured that even established norms in professions and specific industries against women were abolished. Women could finally flourish and make a living for themselves.
Recently, feminism seems to have lost its focus. Modern feminism today has metamorphosed into hatred and hostility against men, outright pulling down of gender roles, disruption of social institutions, and even tending towards intentional injustice and harm against men. Many of the loudest feminist voices on social media peddle narratives along these lines, and this is very bad for feminism if its loudest voices are veering into outlandish misandry.
Many feminists today fail to realize first that, while patriarchy perpetuated men in power, it also placed the responsibility of society on men. For example, men being the major gender for military recruitment to lay down their lives in battle. In moments of danger, women and children will be rescued first before men. These are just highlights of how patriarchy has also placed huge responsibility on men. It therefore means that patriarchy also has benefits for women. Yes, there are social norms today that women enjoy as a result of the patriarchy. Men were mainly the labourers, farmers, builders and protectors, and the society as a whole, including women benefited from these roles assigned to the male gender. Feminism today seeks to retain these gender roles for men and the corresponding ways women benefit from them. But it simultaneously craves equality in the benefits that men get as a result of patriarchy but declines to shoulder the responsibility men bear from which those benefits devolve. For example, a man is the head of the house culturally because he is expected to have the material resources, intelligence and strength to provide for and protect his wife and kids. A man without these resources is traditionally ineligible to marry. If feminism wants to challenge the headship of a man in marriage, the burden of provision on the male gender in marriage would have to be shared with the wife, because the benefits of headship are a byproduct of that responsibility.
Feminists, or misandrists, on social media today portray men as inherently evil and bad, inherently dangerous, and out to harm any and every female. Some even go as extreme as discouraging women from giving birth to boys or giving birth at all. Admittedly, there are feminists who do not hold such extreme opinions, but it is dangerous for the movement if these are the narratives aired by its loudest voices on social media.
Another big problem in modern feminism today is the unintentional infantilization of women. In a bid to absolve the female gender from responsibility for actions that lead to unpleasant outcomes, they portray women as persons who lack agency or are not mature enough to bear responsibility. Almost in any situation involving a man and a woman, any negative outcome or experience is, directly or surreptitiously, painted as the man’s fault, even if a man is nonexistent in that situation. Attempts to detach women from responsibility for their actions are unknowingly infantilizing them, and this strengthens the patriarchy feminism desires to pull down.
Equality of social, economic, political and cultural rights for both genders is a requirement of any civilized society. Anything less is barbarism. However, modern feminism today preaches selective equality. That is, they demand the continuity of strict male gender roles in certain situations, while they also demand equality of rights, opportunities and outcomes in other areas as it pleases them. Modern feminism also challenges traditional family structures. Women who desire family life and motherhood are rebuked and chided. Modern feminism believes women should stay away from the traditional family structure under the headship of a man. It is predicated on a woman being independent and having the ability to make choices as she wants without having to be controlled by any man. However, when a woman chooses to be with a man, appreciate him, and build a family, she is attacked on social media.
There have to be louder feminism voices to set things straight otherwise, there is an impending doom. Social media today shapes opinions in ways that can have real life consequences. These narratives, if not curtailed, will dictate what feminism will be for the foreseeable future. The true meaning of what feminism stands for will be lost in oblivion if it does not take the center stage in conversations on feminism. Such misandrist narratives can make feminism self-destruct and destroy the decades of progress true feminism has achieved in society today. Then, it's back to square one.