Love don’t cost a thing, they said. But the reality of a Nigerian bachelor in 2026 says otherwise. Love, in fact, costs an arm and a leg.

When we were teenagers, love was pure, riveting, ecstatic, and fun. It was pure admiration, sincere affection, and being in a constant state of being mesmerized by the appearance, person and presence of the person you’re in love with. All these used to be enough to fully enjoy the love experience. Movies and fiction love stories reinforced this in our minds, and truly we lived that reality. All we can do now is reminisce about what love used to be.

Love in 2026 is a privilege of the rich. In Nigerian pidgin parlance, ‘Love na for who don guide.' Most of the standards and expectations held by ladies today involve spending money than the ones that don’t. Romance and finance only differ in semantics. Experientially, they’re basically the same. Wherever you hear a man being called ‘romantic man,' 'intentional man,' 'real man,' or 'caring man,' he has shown evidence of financial stability, prosperity, and generosity.

Let’s start from the beginning. A guy wants to ask a lady out; words are certainly not enough. This is 2026, not the Shakespearean era. A guy has to take a lady on a first, second, or third date, all of which will be fully sponsored by him. He will pay for her transportation, her dress, shoes, and makeup for all these dates. The very entitled ladies would even ask him for their data subscription if he is really interested in continuing the conversation with them. Let’s say he does all these and she eventually agrees to go into a romantic relationship with him. Yaay! He found the love of his life! He found something else too—his expenses for life.

In the relationship, he will continue doing these things—sponsoring dates, buying clothes, shoes, wigs, data subscriptions, and supporting his woman financially in other areas like business, academics, or some family expenses. You will say not all women require this. My answer to that is what people say they want does not always accurately describe what they want. The true insight of what a person wants is in what they admire and celebrate. These costly romantic gestures and expensive shows of kindness are celebrated every time by ladies on social media and even in real life. That is truly what every woman wants—a life of luxury and ease, or in Nigerian parlance, ‘soft life’.

The guy does all these for how long the relationship lasts; now it’s time for the wedding. This is a major financial project for any Nigerian man. For most men, all they want to do is go home with the woman he desires to be his wife. If a ceremony is absolutely necessary, he will prefer about 10-30 persons maximum. But family, friends, and the intending wife are definitely not going to have that. They have a say, a very strong one, but more often than not, little or no financial contribution. So the man is left to finance a capital-intensive, elaborate ceremony that he would rather not have, with zero returns. He will pay for the food, drinks, cake, hall, security, entertainment, decorations, photography, MC, DJ, dress for the couple and, in some cases, for the parents of the bride and groom also. I have been to a wedding where the groom sponsored the dresses and makeup of the bridesmaids too. He would have already sponsored pre-wedding pictures, the bride price, and the introduction before all these I mentioned. After the wedding, he will complete any pending payments to vendors. Now they need to get a house and furnish it till it's aesthetically pleasing and functionally optimal.

Clearly, it costs millions, tens of millions of naira, to fall in love in 2026. “Why do we have so many single ladies and no man to marry them?” There you have it. The huge financial costs of falling in love. One day I asked myself if a lady would be willing to be with a man who has just one million naira to spare for the entire matrimonial ceremony—introduction, engagement, court, traditional wedding, and reception. All he has is just one million naira, and she has to either add to it or they plan everything within that budget. I strongly doubt if any single lady in Nigeria today would agree to this. One million naira sounds like not a lot of money until you realize that over 95% of Nigerians don’t even have half of it in their bank accounts (The Guardian Nigeria, 2024). So a man who has one million naira as disposable funds for wedding ceremony is at least in the top 1% of financially stable Nigerians.

I expect a lot of rebuttals and antagonism against the financial cost of love in Nigerian in 2026 as I have narrated here. And I get it. But I, and I am sure most men would agree that this is the ideal expectation on a man who wants to fall in love with a woman and get married. At the very least, this is the fantasy of most Nigerian ladies and they would gladly accept, and celebrate a man who can shoulder all these expenses alone if he is capable. Virtually all Nigerian ladies would love to have a man who can shoulder all the financial expenses like I have described here. And some indeed set it as very strict standards for any man who wants to marry them. However, there are also many women who are willing to be considerate, willing to cope and manage by letting go of some benefits in a relationship, who are willing to do away with the joy of a loud, elaborate wedding and have a simple, small ceremony. There are some also, who will be financially supportive whether in the relationship or in the wedding preparations. Nevertheless, the man must be at the forefront of spending, in frequency and in quantity, from the point of asking out till living together as a family. Even though Nigeria’s economy is strangling the life out of everybody’s earning capacity and purchasing power.

This is a lot for a young man still trying to make a headway for himself in Nigeria. I speak for all Nigerian bachelors like me, we are tired.

Thank you for listening to the rants of a broke Nigerian bachelor.

Reference

Edun, W. (2024, February 23). Only 5% of Nigerians have N500,000 in bank accounts, says finance minister. The Guardian Nigeria. https://guardian.ng/news/only-5-of-nigerians-have-n500000-in-bank-accounts-says-finance-minister/